Thursday, September 22, 2011

So far... good. 

Took 1st Xeloda chemo dose this morning and took another one after dinner tonight.  So far, no major side effects.  Actually, no side effects at all that I can discern besides a little tingling/ itching in my hands.  Much to my great delight, I was able to go for a long, long walk on this beautiful September, 72 degree day (a bonus summer day for those of us in Buffalo NY!). 

Thanks for your prayers.  Although...people...up the prayers in the "my kids being extra-specially kind" department...what's up with them being such grumps after school?!?!  No worries; I was ever-so-patient! 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Update #33: X-Day Tomorrow

After a great (and you could interpret that word "great" to either mean "long" or "fabulous" and you'd be absolutely correct!) delay, my chemo pills came in the mail today. 

And, it got me thinking:  I wonder if the FedEx man would have such a big smile on his face and say, "Have a good day!" if he knew what was contained in the package he was delivering to me.

Or I wonder what my new neighbor would think - that is different from the assumption that she may have made - if she knew the real reason why I received flowers today?  (Yes, they were from Laura who wanted me to have a "good" delivery instead of just a yucky chemo delivery today. Sweet, huh?) 

Or I wonder what the bicyclist thought who was trailing me for a minute as I walked down the road, headphones on, singing out loud (hopefully, not loudly or out of tune, but who knows!) if he knew that I was trying to fill my mind and my heart with the truths I know about my God instead of the worries about what tomorrow will be like as I swallow those pills. I even need to say it? 

Sometimes the assumptions we make about someone may lead us to conclude something that is about the furthest thing from the truth as possible.

FedEx Delivery?  Could be something yucky.
Flowers?  Might be trying something to try to counter balance something yucky.
Singing out loud walking girl?  May be because she's desperate to remember the things she knows that are true, rather than the challenges that swirl around her. 

I have a friend who heard some hard news today.  Not life threatening news, but certainly life changing news.  Things that limit the activities that he's used to doing, that he loves to do, that he's dreamed of being able to do for years to come as the involved, on-the-go husband and dad that he is. 

The adjustment is going to be hard for him, hard for his family.

I'm sure that people who don't know the real reason he's sitting on the sidelines may make some assumptions about him from time to time.   They're going to be dead wrong.

You see, he'd do anything to be on that field with his son, with his daughter.  He'd do anything to be as able to take care of the workload around his house. 

He just can't.
At least for right now.

See a guy on the sidelines?  See a crazy girl walking with tears on her face?  See a floral delivery and wish that arrangement was for you?

Hmm...yep....that's stuff to ponder all right.

Love to you all

P.S.  Prayers for tomorrow's first "X-day" would be appreciated...that the side effects would be minimal...that my kiddos would be extra-specially kind...that I would be able to be patient and kind if they aren't!!! :)  Thanks...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Not today...

Just a quick FYI. My chemo pills didn't arrive in the mail yesterday so I didn't have to take them yet. The question I hope they come today or tomorrow or Monday or never...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Update #32: Yuck

Well.  Not so easy today.  A few tears shed and perhaps many more in the coming days as the reality sets in. 
Bottom-line:  Chemo starts Friday.  However, it's a pill form of chemo called Xeloda that doesn't have as bad of side effects as some of the chemo drugs.  One of the biggest perks (but, really, is anything a "perk" when it comes to chemo?!?) is that I won't lose my hair.  The blond pony tail stays.   That has to be something I celebrate, because there's not much else that's easy to cheer over.   I won't go into the list of side effects...who wants to hear those things.
Hmm....what do I do tomorrow in advance of "X-Day" starting?
Not totally sure, but you bet it will include a stop to Cold Stone Creamery for a dish of Mud Pie Mojo. 
I'll keep you posted. 
Love to you all,

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Okay...the pit is starting in my stomach about tomorrow. 
Going to Roswell tomorrow (Wed) around 12:30 to meet with my doctor to hear the results of my scans that I had on Friday.  As you may or may not know/ tumor markers have been climbing each month so the efficacy of my current treatment plan is in question.  At tomorrow's meeting, my doctor may or may not recommend a change to my treatment plan.  If it's a change, then the only conventional medical options I have remaining all center around different chemotherapy, or possibly radiation, options.
Who wants that?
Not me.
Not ever.
As surprising as it may be to you, I look much better with hair.  Bald is not a look a pull off very well...and I have the pictures from 11 years ago to prove it!  :)
Hate to be a pain, but I would greatly appreciate prayer tomorrow.  
Thanks friends.