Sunday, June 15, 2014

Update #75

Slight change of plans. 

Headed to Roswell tomorrow for a liver biopsy.  My doctor wants to ensure that the properties/bio-markers of my breast cancer haven't changed as they sometimes can do.  I will be escorted by my friend Michelle at 6:30 AM (gold star for her!) and will have the procedure around 9 AM. My hope is that I will be home in time to get my kids off the bus as it's Emilie's last full day of 7th grade.   

As many of you have asked….

I am doing well.  I'm actually doing very well.  God has been showing up in huge, unexpected and comforting ways.  I have been greatly and clearly reminded that He goes before me.  He always has and He always will, no matter how it might appear.   He goes before and He is good.  Those are, quite honestly, two truths that have been stretched and challenged and held together tenuously at best sometimes over the past several weeks.  I will never give you the wrong idea and tell you that it is because I dug deep, and I clawed my way out, and I made a choice of my will, that I was able to come back to a place of quiet rest in His truths.  

That would be so incredibly not true.

The fact is that God, in His great mercy, rescued me from living one more second in a place that bordered on despair, certainly crossed into anger and frustration.  
He hasn't (yet) changed my circumstances – I'm still having a liver biopsy tomorrow, I'm still on the books for starting chemo on Wednesday – but He has set my mind within the safe borders of His truths. 
And that is a good place – no, a great place - to be. 

Super thankful for that.

And….Because my husband ROCKS…he willingly and enthusiastically shared his Father's Day day of rest with me. He put up with a repeat dinner from last night; a practical, but not super thoughtful gift; and a free ice cream cone at a local ice cream shop, rather than a homemade dessert. He graciously put up with all that so I could totally take advantage of the perfectly sunny and warm day today and get some chill time on the hammock.  

Dappled shade, a slight breeze, a good book, and worship music playing in my ears.  
A glimpse of Heaven. 
And I'll take it. 


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