Saturday, August 20, 2011

Update #31

I'm at my parents' cottage.  Watching the sun burn off the fog.  Beautiful.
I should be putting the finishing touches on the messages that I'm going to be giving at our church this weekend; after all, the first service starts in just 12 hours!
Instead, I wanted to share something with you.  Hope you don't mind.
Chad has already completed his part of the time we're spending in front of our church. He's going a 5 minute video introduction that tells our story from his perspective. This will be shown just prior to when I walk up to the front of the church and share a 20 minute message.
I'm a bit crazy, but there are actually four messages - a different one for each service -  that I'm going to giving (unless I chicken out and decide it's too hard after all).  
My friend Audrey asked me yesterday why?
It's a good question. 
Glutton for punishment?
Wanting to be a superstar?
Naturally competitive and just wanting to see if I can do it?
Preparing for a published sermon series?
I've wondered myself. 
I've just had the general sense that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
This morning I think I finally got the crystal clear answer:  Because each helps me -  and may help those who hear it  -  with four key statements that I've said to God over and over again over the past two plus years. Most of the time through tears or frustration.  Sometimes through weariness, doubt, desperation, even anger at times.  
I think this has been and is all about God saying to me, "Kristie, I've heard your questions and your protests countless times. I've heard you each and every time.  Are you finally ready to listen to my response? It's been there, in My Word, all along.  Are you finally ready to see it? Trust it?"
Phew. are those four statements:
Message #1:  I want more.  Despite what I know you've provided for me, I want even more.
Message #2:  I've had enough. Make it stop; I don't want to do this anymore.
Message #3:  I don't understand what you're doing, Lord. What the heck are you doing?
Message #4:  This is hard, really hard.  How much harder does this have to get before you'll rescue me?
Okay.  Back to the preparations.  Kinda important since I haven't even really started message #4 yet. 
Yes, I know, it's tomorrow morning. 
Don't freak me out by reminding me!
Again, if you'd like to come this weekend, the services times are:
Tonight at 6:30 PM and tomorrow at 9:30, 9:45, and 11 AM. All but the 9:45 are contemporary services in the big Worship Center.
Wesleyan Church of Hamburg 4995 McKinley Parkway Hamburg, NY. 
Childcare/kids Sunday school at all services. 

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